It Came From The Video Store!: Andre The Butcher

One has to admire the creators of 2006's Andre The Butcher for keeping their biggest surprise underwraps: famous(or infamous, depends on the side of the issue you stand) porn star and VH-1 Surreal Life participant Ron Jeremy as the title antagonist...a supernatural killer with a welder's mask, bloody dress-clothes, and a penchant for hunting humans, devouring their remains, and harvesting their souls for the big head honcho of Hell.

The Front Row: Three female cheerleaders, stoic team captain Jasmine(April Billingsley), flirtatious Cookie(Heather Joy Budner, complete with No Nudity Clause), and portly Kristy(Liz Mullins) are being escorted to cheerleader regionals by their male cheerleader companion, Jimbo(Justin Capaz) through the isolated backwoods of Florida. When the foursome crash their car, thanks to erotic shenanigans between Cookie and Jimbo, they, seeking help, discover a fully-furnished house in the middle of nowhere.

Taking refuge there, they are soon stalked by Andre, but not before a parade of bizarre characters show up at the homestead: two recently escaped convicts, Hoss(Maury Sterling) and Tober(Alan Fessenden), Sheriff Cooper(Terry Mross), and Coffy-inspired Deputy Hollingsworth(Faye Canada). All of the bloody proceedings are told by the Narrator(Gene Hash), who makes it clear that his “gay cheerleaders” only mean spirited and cheerful cheerleaders.

Box of Whoppers(The Delicious): Despite sharing some cliches with numerous straight-to-video slasher films, Andre the Butcher manages to showcase effort in the story department not shared by its fellow DVD horror titles. Instead of relying only on the novelty of Ron Jeremy's role, the creators introduces a few twists and turns to the narrative, such as Andre's true motives, Hoss's true identity, and for the exploitative fan in all of us, Jasmine's secret sexual desires. The film also provides several fun characters, such as a deputy, sliced in half by Andre, that continues to live...and begs anyone stumbling upon him to put him out of his memory.

Sticky Floors(The Nasty): The floors are not sticky in this film.

Concession Stand(Where to Buy): Andre The Butcher can be purchased at any bargain bin at Blockbuster Video.

See Trailer: