Just Awesome/Mediocre Cinema Tidbits

I have to admit, I haven't been updating this blog in the way that I would really want to, which is probably every week at the most. Thus, I've seen tons of movies over the last few months and haven't really reported on them. It might seem that I don't have a life because I'm a constant at the theatres in town, but think of it this way: since I don't drink, I don't go to a bar, so going to the movies is the equivalent of a place to hang out.

So, here are a list of movies I've seen over the last few months, and my thoughts on them:

• Red: The marketing campaign for this film should be "Old School Is Cool"...or maybe "Don't disrespect your elders". You have Bruce Willis, one of the greatest badasses in cinematic history, leading a crew of equal badasses like Morgan Freeman(c'mon, Lean on Me and Wanted?), Helen Mirren(who gives me that Jennifer Mui(Mercenaries) vibe) and John Malkovitch(who shoots a blanking missile with a gun! A freaking missile with a gun!!) against Karl Urban(Bones from the new Star Trek?) and the CIA. The office fight between him and Willis's character is easily one of the funniest(as far as sheer brutality and application of wrestling moves) i've ever seen. A awesome action film that has that offbeat feel and humor, similar to Kick-Ass, imo.
• Jackass 3-D: One of the most honest film franchises I've ever seen. Really, if you go to this film expecting a quality product...you are stupid. Jackass also teaches a vital life lesson: with the right opportunity, you can make money off of ANYTHING. Johnny Knoxville, Wee-Man, and crew are back, with a few new faces(like the big guy), displaying funny stunts and antics. Highlights include the Rocky gag, where a person sneaks behind someone with a glass of water in one hand, and a boxing glove in the other, splashes them with the water and punches them simultaneously, a tether ball with a hive of bees. The gag-inducing crowning achievement involves Steve-O, a porta-potty, solid waste, and bungee cords. You get the feelings while watching that these guys are probably tired of the stunts, and want to move on...at least, that was the vibe I was getting.
• My Soul To Take 3-D: While not at all as bad or horrible as Prom Night, My Soul wasn't...as good as I thought it would be. The Wes Craven production starts with a killer with seven multiple personalities(incorrectly attributed to schizophrenia, when it is really dissociative identity disorder) who is killed on the same night seven infants are born prematurely. Sixteen years later, the seven infants, who have formed a group of sorts, begin to get picked off, one by one. The problem with this movie was there was too much focus on the soap-operish school antics, which I wasn't interested in, although I did like the concept of Fang(Emily Meade) running the school(which reminded me too much of anime). Another problem is that the 3-D was a crock...it is barely there, and imo, I really didn't care for it anyway. And last but not least, the Riverton Ripper was barely the focus of the story...thus, he was not memorable in any way. Mediocre cinema at best.
• Scott Pilgrim Versus The World: I think a movie that you can't put in a box, i.e. is so strange and different that it provides its own experience, is a good thing. And Scott Pilgrim provides this in spades. Micheal Cera, as the title character, is a slacker musician, trying to make it into the big time with his band, when he falls in love with anime-haired Ramona Flowers(Mary Elizabeth Winstead), despite the fact he is dating Knives Chau(Ellen Wong)(and with a name like that...I wouldn't think about cheating on her!). Of course, that is not the big problem. The big problem is Ramona's ex-lovers, who have formed a league to fight him! While there is the video game motifs that shape the world of Pilgrim, I got a bigger anime vibe from the proceedings...from the idea that Scott and nearly everyone knows martial arts, to things like fire-wielding powers, teleportation, and super-speed are treated as a casual aspect of life. This is an awesome movie, A+.
• Catfish: I went to this film by accident. Since I was waiting on a friend to see The Social Network, I had two hours to waste. I saw the advertising of Catfish in the theatre lobby, and initially got the impression that it was sort of like Blair Witch or The Last Exorcism, a faux-documentary-type of horror or thriller film. Little would I realize that the film had more than enough relevancy with Network, making it the perfect double feature with the subsequent film. Catfish is a supposely real-life documentary about a young man who, after becoming friends with a young painter over Facebook, falls in love and becomes romantically involved with the painter's older sister. However, after weeks of romantic exchanges, subsequent investigations of the older sister would yield a terrifying, but realistic twist: the "older sister" is someone else entirely. Essentially, the film explores the trials and tribulations of online dating and relationships. Sometimes the very person you see in that Facebook profile...can be someone else entirely.
• The Social Network: I see this film as pure inspiration. Mark Zuckerberg is one of the richest people on Earth, and according to the film, Facebook originated simply as something else to spite his girlfriend! Just like in my Jackass entry, I'm just pointing out that one can make money off of ANYTHING. Anyway...this film is a wonderful drama about the founding of Facebook, and the character exploration of founder Mark Zuckerberg, whose deadpan intellectual putdowns would make Lelouch jealous. And Brenda Song grows up, imo, from her role as Tweety-Bird heiress of the Suite Life franchise into a psycho girlfriend of Zuckerberg's best friend and business partner, Eduardo Saverin(Andrew Garfield)...of course, that is oversimplifying her character. By the way...this is a David Fincher movie. Just saying.
• Piranha 3-D: Save your money. Yes, you get naked chicks, goofy story, and goofy characters. But, no ending, and as my friend pointed out, the pickest monsters this side of the Predator; they don't consume all of their food, just taking out small chunks here and there. Kudos for making an explantion for the now fictional portrayal of piranha...but still, not enough to save this movie.